CONDOMS 'N' LUBE
Got a little easy @ 4:48 p.m.
on 2003-08-18
Every woman has one. Guys probably do, too, but they're more hesitant to admit it. It goes by many names, but we all know and respect it. I call mine, the Dirty Bag. It has all my dirty little toys and accessories that I've been collecting over the years...from Pinky, my first vibe, to the newly acquired heart-shaped bottle of Belgian Chocolate Body Paint. Can't wait to try that one out. *WIDE GRIN WITH SPARKLE IN MY EYE*
Back to the story...
Joe didn't have to work today until 5:30, so we slept in late, ate a big breakfast (mom for some reason brought me 2 dozen eggs) lounged around a bit, then took a shower.
I am supposed to be getting my depo provera shot this month, but have decided to go off of it for multiple reasons, one being I will no longer have insurance after this month. So precautions have to be taken now that Joe and I have enjoyed freedom from in the past. I've actually made up a little "Condoms 'n' Lube" song that's quite catchy...always brings a smile to my face...
So out comes the Dirty Bag, and I'm rummaging around in it and find something I'd thrown in long ago, a small tube with 'Rock Hard' printed on it. I can't remember exactly what the cream does, but I get the general gist from the name. I bounce back into the bedroom, arms loaded with goodies, like a kid in an arcade, and I've just cashed in all my tickets. I suggest we try the cream out first, just to see what it does. I open it up, it's pretty odorless. I rub a generous amount on him, and still nothing. It wasn't warming, it wasn't tingling, and I was getting confused. Then it happened, my lips went numb. Like getting a shot of novocaine from the dentist numb. And it was only on my lips, thank goodness, poor Joe.....I don't think I need to say any more. At first we started laughing, then it wouldn't go away, so he jumped back in the shower as I gargled a bit.
Ah, fun times. I'm so glad I'm with someone who can laugh about my accidently numbing his, um, nether-regions. I do love him for that!
I then have to explain to him it's to be used to PROLONG a rock-hard, not to get one going. Hind-sight's 20/20.
A few good laughs later, and another round of the "Condoms 'n' Lube" song, this kitty's finally got a happy puppy.
Now I think I need some cheesecake...