THERE SHOULD BE A PILL FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS
Got a little easy @ 4:50 p.m.
on 2003-08-15
Ever had one of those nights where you can't believe you were where you were with the people you were with? And I don't mean that in a good way.
It started out innocent enough meeting up with an ex-co-worker for a few drinks at 5pm. We have a nice time chatting, laughing, and enjoying girl time, slowly working our way through two pictures of beer. Then her new beau calls saying him and his roommate were going to play pool at this place down the street that I've never been to...which is odd cause this town's not that big and I'm a lush. But I digress. So we pack up and drive the couple of blocks (this is Texas, EVERYONE drives here) to the Cue, and thus begins my night of REDNECK HELL. Every man in this place had missing teeth, ripped t-shirt, and a dixie-flag bandana tied on their person somewhere, mainly about the head. The women looked vaguely like an old leather purse I once had, only drunk, and with too much eye make-up. It was the place that daylight forgot. So she and I played some pool, very badly, and took a looong time getting all the balls in. Oh, I also propped up my cue stick on the bar, and of course it slid right off, taking mine and my friend's beer down with it.
Clean up, Aisle 5.
So some poor sucker buys me another, as new beau and roomie show up. Now this guy was good looking: stout, pretty face, nice smile. His roommate, nicknamed 'Gilligan', was not. And he apparently made the assumption that this was some sort of double date, as I had to keep removing his hands from my body all damn night. Oh, let me describe this gem. He wasn't that much taller than me, I'd guess 5-foot-5, old leather boots, starched dark blue Wranglers that had to be a size zero. I wear a one, and I was bigger around than him. Of course there was the mandatory belt buckle advertising some rodeo, and the short-sleeved-red-plaid-button-down shirt that every good redneck has. His head, dear lord, his head....It was cartoonish. Very triangular with large round glasses, no chin, which accentuated his top front four teeth which stuck out. All night I wondered if there were any other in his head, I doubt he carried a full set. But in comparison to the surroundings, he was clean and cologned, what more could a country gal ask for?
Makes my little heart go pitter-patter.
Give me a minute, I must go gag. I'll just blame it on the Pall Mall's I was bumming all night.
So what do I do but try to make the best of it all and dance my little white hiney around the floor until even the most leathered of faces were blushing. We then all hopped into one car and traveled to The Cowboy. Think so-honkey-and-po-dunk it makes Urban Cowboy look like a night at the Ritz. I do some more fending-off of the grandfatherly advances (why do I attract 50 yr old saddle bags, is there some sign taped to my back? I'd rather have a 'kick me' please) as the absolute worst kareoke was wailed over the tiny sound system.
So I arrive home around 2am, where a snuggly Joey Bear was waiting for me. I wish I would've just come home when we left to meet the guys. So I'm nursing only a slight hangover today, had some cuddly time with Joe this morning, as I didn't have to get up and go to work. heh heh. And I got in some snuggle time with the kitty, too.
Enjoy.
