I'M BEAMING WITH PRIDE
Got a little easy @ 2:36 p.m.
on 2004-05-20

This is an actual inner-office email sent to all staff this week. I find it a great comfort that my upper-ups have tact and a sense of humor.

Enjoy.

"We are very pleased that we are able to provide internet access to our

staff. We think it can help people in managing their jobs, and it can

also help people in managing the rest of their lives, as well.

That is, we have no problem with you using our internet access for

personal reasons sometimes. We think that doing so sometimes helps you to

be more productive overall.

But I want to remind you that we do monitor visits to external

websites.

Now, staff privacy is important to me. So although we have the ability

to monitor who is going to what site, and how much time each spends at

sites, we do this only occasionally when we are made aware of a

problem.

But we do, indeed, monitor what sites staff-as-a-whole is visiting.

Of course, we long ago blocked access to sexually-oriented sites,

gambling sites and many others that dont exactly fit with the image we would

like to maintain for our Center.

But we reserve the right to block any site, for whatever reason.

For instance, although we perfectly understand the notion that someone

would try to improve his productivity at work by looking for the

perfect partner on the internet, we nonetheless plan to block dating sites

after noticing how much time is being spent on them. Hmmm...

And while we all need ways to relieve workplace stress, those of us who

are doing so by playing interactive games online are simply going to

have to find another way to cope, as we plan to block those sites, too.

That's because the rate at which some are being used suggests

addiction, not stress-relief...

We want you to be happy. But, please, dont call the Help Desk because

your crisis-of-the-day is that you can't use your computer to see if

your lotto ticket is a winner this week. After all, when you go home

tonight and find out that you did, indeed, win big --- well, then you can

call us tomorrow and tell us exactly what we can do with our

access-restricted internet...right?

Thanks, everyone!"

take | me