A BIG SHOCKER, AND NOT IN THE DIRTY ANAL WAY
Got a little easy @ 1:15 p.m.
on 2004-06-07
Yeesh, my entries are seeming so sporatic lately. Few and far between, too. Nick and I just got the internet back at our house this weekend (phone line problems) so I'll be updating more.
I've got another letter-to-coworker to kind of update on last weekend...I hate writing the same thing over and over again.
"My weekend was...well, scattered and hectic, too. Saturday was my friend Sassy's birthday, so a bunch of us girls (my roommate Nick is included...he's just one of the girls!) went to dinner and to Sherlock's for drinks and dancing.....and drama and crying and catfighting over a boy. These three girls (Sassy, Mo-ho, and Nipples), every time they go out, it's high drama. They love it, they live for it, so I have no problem watching it all play out, laughing. Every-single-time, one will pick out a guy, the other will make out with him, they'll tell each other what bitches they are in some highly public area (cry), then make up (cry) and vow to never let a guy come between them again. And as soon as the back is turned, it's back to talking about what a bitch the other one's being. Now poor Nick gets stressed easily by conflict so he kept wanting to leave, but I wanted to stay and watch the show. It's really hilarious, like a good movie you watch over and over and over, and have all the good lines memorized. I laugh because some random guy always gets a big head thinking he's hot shit cause two good-looking girls are fighting over him, but it's never about the guy. It's a power play between the three of them, and the guy never knows that no-one has the intention of calling him. Although....the 'poor schmuck' this last Saturday was a really, REALLY, hot Rugby player from South Africa. Yeah baby, accent. Blonde, tan, and muscley, too...I may have to make plans to attend a rugby game, without the stooges of course!
Oh crap, I just noticed you said to call, oh well....
~Kitty"
You may be saying to yourself, 'Kitty, what would Joe think about your going to scope out a hottie Rugby guy?' The simple answer is, he wouldn't care if all I did was the scoping. The complicated answer is...he's not going to find out about because we broke up.
Last week. Tuesday. He came up here to Dallas for Memorial day weekend, and Tuesday when we were both back at work, he called, we agreed that it sucks but is best, and I've been blocking out negative emotions since. I've noticed a couple of chinks in my brick wall...Wednesday I stared at my lunch for about half an hour before taking a few bites then tossing it. I haven't really eaten that much since.
Drinking, that's another story.
Then today I pulled up to a client's house, called him to iron out a few details about this weekend, he was supposed to come up, now he's going to South Padre to stay with a friend. I think I may drive down to the old apt. and get the last of my things I haven't moved yet. But that would feel so sneaky, and I don't want to seem like I'm doing anything wrong.
"Broke into the old apartment, this is where we used to live."
Anyway, after I got off the phone I cried a little in the car, for the first time. It hurt. I didn't let it go on long, though, I was at a client's house and he was expecting me 10 minutes earlier. So, not too cathartic. I'm still waiting for that 'big moment' when I let it all go. Emotionally. I've been really numb.
Nick's also been 'catching me up' on the past seasons of Queer as Folk. Which isn't doing me much good considering the characters I'm getting involved with are emotionally stunted, and are never allowed to have any big cry scenes. They always bring you right to the brink of a moment, then flash to Brian and Justin doing it. Oh, and I have to say this, though Hal Sparks is a total cutie and funny as hell on VH1, but his acting SUCKS! They should just have his character walking around naked as much as Brian....that would be nice. Only 5 lines max per hour. That would be even better.
Ok, break's over, gotta get back to the grind.