I NEED BETTER MEDS
Got a little easy @ 5:27 p.m.
on 2004-06-29
It's been one shitty week.
As it turns out, when stressed out, not eating, drinking too much, and smoking waaaaaay too much all combine, the body's defenses break down and you will catch every germ going around.
All at once.
I have no idea how many diseases I have right now, but my throat's sore, I have a fever, the chills, the sweats, I get dizzy off of aspirin, no energy, and a slight cough.
I'm dying.
The headstone should read: Here lies Kitty, keep back 50 feet.
And on top of all that I'm doubly pathetic cause of the whole Joe situation. (we talked Wed. night and had a sad, non-threatening goodbye)
But I'm doing fine till I start drinking, get sad, and angry, and self-righetout all at the same time.
________________________________________________
Somebody brought up Ash's name today, and I don't know how to feel about that yet. She's the girl that's a really cool friend and let me stay up here at her house till I found a job. She's also the one you evidently don't want to share any hush-hush news with.
Connecting the dots today I realized she's the one that told me about Joe kissing another girl in January. I didn't have any huge reaction, and I never said a word of it to Joe till just before the break-up. She's also the one that told Joe (after the break up) that I'd slept with another guy a few months ago. This spurned the huge thing last Sunday....he'd gotten the details wrong, but the main picture right.
Yes, I know, my bad.
So why is she doing all this meddling? I have absolutely no idea.
Could it be she just has a big mouth? I can't take credit for being the best secret-keeper myself, so......I still don't know how to feel.
I think it's pretty cold, though. She'd played him a drunk-dial voicemail I'd left her.
Ouch. I didn't think that much about it at the time, but she'd even said the words "I'd choose you over him if anything happened." Of course I'd laughed it off at the time saying we were never going to break up, but now, it feels like she was egging me on.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm..... Freaky.