THE START OF MY 26TH YEAR
Got a little easy @ 11:52 a.m.
on 2004-10-27
Email to Friend this morning:
So last night...at Blind Date Guy's, remind me to tell you about the gift later, we kinda hang out till midnight, then he sings me Happy Birthday. Very sweet, so we start smooching on the bed, undressing each other (very nice), and he asks how long I want to stay up for (work tomorrow, etc) I say that since this is my birthday sex I'm willing to stay up all night. So he says "Great, I was thinking you could finish up that thing you started in the car (involving my mouth and his zipper), then I could reciprocate, and by then I should be ready again for sex." And for some reason (sarcasm here) I just stopped and looked at him. He asks what, and I say, because I can hardly believe the words came out of him, that there's all this romantic buildup, he's gotten me *quite* ready for another night of intense connection....and he's asking for oral? He then realizes his goof and I keep on rambling on and on (I've had a few drinks by the way) about how great the past few nights were and how I felt we were so connected, and he says that he's now feeling a lot of pressure to reach my expectations.
Urgh.
So I've got to talk him back down....to get him back up...so I mention that as long as the emotions are there then expectations will be met. So now he feels even more pressure, like I'm expectating "our love-making to be a culmination of our love." I say whoa-whoa-whoa, there won't be any "love-making" and no expectations of any culmination! I was just saying that we've moved beyond the sex-for-mere-physical-pleasure level and have stepped up to two-people-sharing-an-intimate-connection level...love making is many, many a level away (as is love itself). He's still kinda freaked out (total deer-in-the-headlights), so I start describing the connections I feel: How if I'm laying on my stomach with my hands under the pillow he'll run his fingertips from my elbow down to my body, around the curve of my breast, in at my waist, spreading his fingertips down my hip to my thigh--how this makes me feel very womanly and sensual--having my curves appreciated. Things like that...not necessarily feelings of love, but they're definately positive. All this L-word talk has made him very nervous and sweaty under the comforter, so he rolls over by me and pulls me in to spoon so he can get out of the covers...and he starts talking about something. I'm not sure what because I was exhausted from putting out that wildfire and I fell asleep!
His gifts, by the way, were fabulous..thoughtful and from the heart. He'd gotten some thick paper, stained it with tea and written something special in caligraphy, a beautiful rose in a pretty cool vase, and (he'd done some glass-blowing) an oil-burner thingie that he'd made himself. I was highly impressed, I've never had a guy put that much time and effort into a gift for me before...without it being something total cheeseball that I'd had to fake an "I love it...what is it?" My favorite is the paper, because what he wrote was so sweet and I know it took a lot to verbalize and actually put into print (out there for me to reject or accept) his soft side. And no, it didn't say 'I love you' on it. Thank god, I would've flipped! Ha