MELONCHOLY MOOD
Got a little easy @ 2:49 p.m.
on 2003-11-12
I woke up this morning and put on my granny-panties. This is weird because I haven�t been wearing underwear lately, but with Aunt Flo on the way, better safe than sorry. I�m so ready to get this over with, I have had about a months worth of PMS symptoms now, and no I�m definitely not pregnant. Due to taking the Depo Provera shot, I haven�t had a period in over two years, so I guess my body�s trying to make up for lost cramps.
Right now I feel like one of my kidneys is dying, which would really suck.
"Boy you best pray that I bleed real soon, how�s that thought for you?"
Looking at my own profile, I realize that it�s so not representative of me. I don�t think I�d read me based on my own profile.
Oh crap, I just had a major mood swing listening to Tori Amos.
"I got the Antichrist in the kitchen yelling at me again, Yeah I can hear."
Since my trip to Dallas didn�t go through, that damn Vegan�s phone was turned off, I�m planning on visiting my parent�s tomorrow. Joe has off Thurs and Fri, so we can make an overnight trip. They�ll appreciate it since we�re doing Thanksgiving with his family.
My family is the kind that likes each other best when we�re at least an hour�s distance apart. Too much time in the same place, and we self-destruct. I have been making the effort to be nicer and more tolerant, though. Several small trips work best, instead of long, arduous ones where I end up wanting to rip the head off my mom like an old Barbie doll.
I�m reminded of a Seinfeld episode where George�s fianc�, Susan, had a doll that looked like George�s mom, and at the end of the episode his dad sees the doll, starts yelling at it, and rips the head off.
Ah, good times.
I�m trying to make peace with my mom in my own mind, and forgive her for all the shit she put me through. I won�t go into detail, because I�m trying to forgive and forget, but I was one angry kitty for about a decade. I feel too old for teen angst, and don�t think I�m maladjusted enough to require therapy, so it�s all up to me to mend fences and rebuild some bridges. I don�t know if I�ll ever trust her, but I can be polite and non-offensive if I really really really really try.
"Yes I know what you think of me, you never shut up."
Oh Tori, you always understood me. Now it�s Joe�s turn, he has no idea what a psycho mind-fucking family he�s getting into. This should be interesting.
"Everybody�s looking at you, you take hold of my hand."